Thinking back on my teenage moments, I had this mad crush on Prince Charles, Prince of Wales. I dreamed that one day he would walk into my life and sweep me off my feet. The only thing we had in common was our birthdays. Both of us are born in the same month and on the same day with exactly 10 year difference to the date. What we didn’t have in common was life itself. Wondering how I could live the princess image within myself so I could possibly have the opportunity to persuade Queen Elizabeth that I was the best match out there for her beloved son. Not even aware that I was living an illusion…a conscious magical relationship, I purchased every article in print on Prince Charles, studied his family so that they would accept me and approve of me running away with my Prince Charming. I spent valuable time living an illusion that I felt could give me power and recognition as a person. Literally, how many stories are in print describing how Prince Charming comes racing into someone’s life, kisses them and they become alive, magical, and set in motion.
Years later, it was interesting to watch this magical wedding broadcasted basically on every station in the USA. I thought; how lovely that Princess Diana got to live the magical love. I believe that many of us have this fantasy of some sort. Maybe it’s not Prince Charles but some famous movie actor or actress, or any magical image our minds have created through childhood. Illusionary relationships do not exist. Illusionary relationships are our fantasy-base belief from some mis-conceived, make-believe knowledge in our childhood or some false notion that we need to be saved. Why? We have been abandoned. We have power in the thought that someone stronger and more powerful than “I” will role play with us the abandonment of the love and nurture missing in our lives. It is the absentee of pure relationships that has given us the imaginary illusion that we can seek or discover and even claim that fairytale relationship.
We are consistently looking to find our happiness in someone else’s life. Another disbelief many of us have is “When I find my soul mate life will be peachy,” and “When I have a perfect body, I’ll be loved and desired by all the charming prince/princesses out there,” or “I can get anyone I want because I look good”. Looking for approval? Looking to be recognized? Looking to be important? Someone, please pay attention to me. If that means I need to get into your head, then I’ll keep searching through you to find myself. Fairytales and illusions mask the negative belief that…“When I get what I want then I’ll be happy.” What exactly… is it you want? You want the love and the security that you will be surrounded by comfort and love from someone who will give you the strength, devotion, bond and unconditional love that you were missing in your youth.
Here’s the truth whether you believe it or not, you cannot find happiness in someone else even if you love, adore and create them to be your everlasting God or Goddess. It’s no surprise that we are victims of this mis-belief as how many times have we sat in front of the television and watched Disney tell us a story of our magical prince, yet alone bed-time stories of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Cinderella while Mom or Dad were absent in loving us in WHOLE. Isn’t it easier to believe fairytales are romantic, safe “emotional harbors”? You bet it is! So how do we overcome the belief that finding happiness in someone else is not the answer? How do we connect to Self and see who we really are? I can’t tell you how my times I have re-lived the past of being abandoned and how the present moment helped me eliminate more than 90 percent of that process that doesn’t exist any longer in my life. It had happened. I kept making it happen. But it’s not to keep happening! Living in the past and looking for someone to rescue you does not eliminate abandonment. It keeps the cycle alive. It’s in the present moment where you will connect to self and see all that you had been living in someone or something else including the illusions in “self”.
Meditation is a great purity of Divine presence in self that enables you to focus on your current surroundings. Keeping self in present moment brings instant spiritual connection with our creator’s presence, our Source. Being in the NOW is the key to clearing past issues and illusions and obtaining a secure, safe present life free of any illusions.
The spiritual truth is that the only person who can ever make you happy is YOU. That’s why learning how to unconditionally love and accept your Self is a grand accomplishment. We love and accept ourselves in the present moment. What we accomplish in the present moment is reality…a reality that “we are not perfect” and “acceptance of ourselves”. The power is within you. Not someone else. In the present moment, you will find that you are perfect the way you are. Loving yourself is not being selfish but selfless. It’s called, unconditional love.
Your mind uses the past and it’s illusions (fairytales) to emotionally escape (repress, minimize, deny, etc.) when your relationships trigger feelings that make you feel ignored, abandoned, frightened, abused, or misunderstood then it’s easy to instantly place self in that fairytale love story. It makes you feel as if your safety and security are dependent upon another person. Such as the thought, “his love will save me”. So how do we overcome this? The task ahead of you is not an easy one to take. The answer is “spiritual relationship with “self”.
A spiritual relationship with self leads to ONE or WHOLE. You begin to create an environment that is healthy and fosters the belief that you can be on all levels in Being. “Being” in spirituality means; mind, body and soul in ONENESS. You have the power to transform your fairytale relationship beliefs into Self-Being in present moment. By bringing self into presence, you are able to capture the picture of past conscious illusions and where the fairytale source originated from. By dissecting piece by piece of this self-belief of yourself and eliminating the fantasy of Prince Charming coming to rescue you, you will help ‘You” to attract a spiritually based, consciously awakened, loving relationship; a relationship where you can feel safe, appreciated, and loved; a relationship created by equals for the purpose of spiritual growth and a relationship where you and your partner agree that nothing is more important than your spiritual growth in the present moment. This is conscious living.
~~ By Andrea Infante