JOY AND SORROW

JOY and SORROW are inseparable. They complement each other. They are part of human condition. There is no way we can escape one or enjoy the other. We must go through the bad times to appreciate the good times.

What brings us great joy and sorrow are the deep attachments we have formed for someone or something. Very often, these people and things that created joy and bring happiness to our lives are the very same things and people that will make us sad or sorrowful when we lose them. 

Sadness and joy come together; they are in equilibrium.

Learning to accept our sorrows, we will then be able to dance to the symphony of joy!

With great joy, comes the potential of great sorrow. Such is the nature of life.

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On Joy and Sorrow
 Kahlil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered :

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 

Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

 

 

 

 

reference:

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IT’S OK NOT TO BE OK

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Some days are just rough. Bad things come without a warning. Everyone reaches the lowest point in life, no matter how hard we try to be safe and protective of ourselves. We all go through the darkest times of our lives.

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But being not OK doesn’t mean you stop living.

 “The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around – and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness.” [ Daniell Koepke]

Everything is temporary; Emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it.

If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re mad, be mad, shout, and scream. And it’s OK. Express your emotions in a way that it will help you.  Cry if you want to, and it’s OK instead of just bottling it up. Sometimes you have to cry before you can move forward. Crying is not an indication of weakness. We are human not robots anyway.

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Emotions should not be locked away.

“All emotions, even those that are suppressed and unexpressed, have physical effects. Unexpressed emotions tend to stay in the body like small ticking time bombs—they are illnesses in incubation.” [Marilyn Van Derbur]

Feelings are something all of us have. Our feelings are valid. We have every right to feel whatever emotion we want. And that’s not being dramatic nor over exaggerating.

 “We are supposed to feel. We are supposed to love. And hate. And hurt. And grieve and break and be destroyed and rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. That is human. That is humanity. That’s being alive. That’s the point. That’s the entire point. Don’t avoid it. Don’t extinguish it.” [Grey’s Anatomy]

 

Emotions are fleeting.

And life isn’t static.

 

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GETTING OLDER IS INEVITABLE, but…

 

No one can control our age, it is inevitable.

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“That’s the trouble with you young people. You think because you ain’t been here long, you know everything. In my life I already forgot more than you ever know.” [  Neil Gaiman ]

untitled-12.jpgBut this one I find it agreeable – you are only old as you feel. And old age is a state of mind.

 

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Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.               [ Satchel Paige ] 

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Study finds that believing you are younger than you actually are is the key to a long life. Don’t instill in your mind that you will be frail when you get old. Instead, choose to be positive, thinking that enjoying life to the fullest can keep you young. To feel old is just a state of mind. And to feel good about your life should be an important aspect of healthy aging. There are a lot of smart choices to keep your body tuned up and your mind tuned in… from eating the right food, finding the best exercise, and engage in activities where you can still socialize to keep you on the move and perk up an aging brain. Choose to age well.

“It’s [old age] not a surprise, we knew it was coming – make the most of it. So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game.” [ Betty White ]

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THE BEST people are the good old wrinkled people with a sparkle in their eye, a wink when you walk by or a toothless smile saying you are doing just fine …” [ Robert Wesley Miller ]

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BEWARE OF THOSE …

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Beware of those who are bitter,
For they will never allow you
To enjoy your fruit.

Beware of those who criticize you
When you deserve some praise for an achievement,
For they secretly desire to be worshiped.

Beware of those who are needy or stingy,
For they would rather sting you
Than give you anything.

Beware of those who are always hungry.
They will feed you to the wolves
Just to get paid.

Beware of those who speak negatively
About everything and everybody.
A negative person will never say
A positive thing about you.

Beware of those who are bored
And not passionate about life.
They will bore you with reasons for not living.

Beware of those who are too focused with
Polishing and beautifying their outer shells.
They lack true substance to understand
That genuine beauty is in the heart
that resides inside.

Beware of those who step in the path of your dreams.
They only dream to have the ability
To take half your steps.

Beware of those who steer you away
From your heart’s true happiness.
It would make them happy to see you
Steer yourself next to them,
Sitting with both your hearts bitter.

Those who are critical don’t like being criticized,
And those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses.

And finally,
Beware of those who tell you to BEWARE.
They are too aware of everything –
And live alone, scared.”

– Suzy Kassem

ARE WE LIVING AN ILLUSION THROUGH A FAIRYTALE THOUGHT?

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Thinking back on my teenage moments, I had this mad crush on Prince Charles, Prince of Wales. I dreamed that one day he would walk into my life and sweep me off my feet. The only thing we had in common was our birthdays. Both of us are born in the same month and on the same day with exactly 10 year difference to the date. What we didn’t have in common was life itself. Wondering how I could live the princess image within myself so I could possibly have the opportunity to persuade Queen Elizabeth that I was the best match out there for her beloved son. Not even aware that I was living an illusion…a conscious magical relationship, I purchased every article in print on Prince Charles, studied his family so that they would accept me and approve of me running away with my Prince Charming. I spent valuable time living an illusion that I felt could give me power and recognition as a person. Literally, how many stories are in print describing how Prince Charming comes racing into someone’s life, kisses them and they become alive, magical, and set in motion.

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Years later, it was interesting to watch this magical wedding broadcasted basically on every station in the USA. I thought; how lovely that Princess Diana got to live the magical love. I believe that many of us have this fantasy of some sort. Maybe it’s not Prince Charles but some famous movie actor or actress, or any magical image our minds have created through childhood. Illusionary relationships do not exist. Illusionary relationships are our fantasy-base belief from some mis-conceived, make-believe knowledge in our childhood or some false notion that we need to be saved. Why? We have been abandoned. We have power in the thought that someone stronger and more powerful than “I” will role play with us the abandonment of the love and nurture missing in our lives. It is the absentee of pure relationships that has given us the imaginary illusion that we can seek or discover and even claim that fairytale relationship.

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We are consistently looking to find our happiness in someone else’s life. Another disbelief many of us have is “When I find my soul mate life will be peachy,” and “When I have a perfect body, I’ll be loved and desired by all the charming prince/princesses out there,” or “I can get anyone I want because I look good”. Looking for approval? Looking to be recognized? Looking to be important? Someone, please pay attention to me. If that means I need to get into your head, then I’ll keep searching through you to find myself. Fairytales and illusions mask the negative belief that…“When I get what I want then I’ll be happy.” What exactly… is it you want? You want the love and the security that you will be surrounded by comfort and love from someone who will give you the strength, devotion, bond and unconditional love that you were missing in your youth.

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Here’s the truth whether you believe it or not, you cannot find happiness in someone else even if you love, adore and create them to be your everlasting God or Goddess. It’s no surprise that we are victims of this mis-belief as how many times have we sat in front of the television and watched Disney tell us a story of our magical prince, yet alone bed-time stories of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Cinderella while Mom or Dad were absent in loving us in WHOLE. Isn’t it easier to believe fairytales are romantic, safe “emotional harbors”? You bet it is! So how do we overcome the belief that finding happiness in someone else is not the answer? How do we connect to Self and see who we really are? I can’t tell you how my times I have re-lived the past of being abandoned and how the present moment helped me eliminate more than 90 percent of that process that doesn’t exist any longer in my life. It had happened. I kept making it happen. But it’s not to keep happening! Living in the past and looking for someone to rescue you does not eliminate abandonment. It keeps the cycle alive. It’s in the present moment where you will connect to self and see all that you had been living in someone or something else including the illusions in “self”.

Meditation is a great purity of Divine presence in self that enables you to focus on your current surroundings. Keeping self in present moment brings instant spiritual connection with our creator’s presence, our Source. Being in the NOW is the key to clearing past issues and illusions and obtaining a secure, safe present life free of any illusions.

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The spiritual truth is that the only person who can ever make you happy is YOU. That’s why learning how to unconditionally love and accept your Self is a grand accomplishment. We love and accept ourselves in the present moment. What we accomplish in the present moment is reality…a reality that “we are not perfect” and “acceptance of ourselves”. The power is within you. Not someone else. In the present moment, you will find that you are perfect the way you are. Loving yourself is not being selfish but selfless. It’s called, unconditional love.

Your mind uses the past and it’s illusions (fairytales) to emotionally escape (repress, minimize, deny, etc.) when your relationships trigger feelings that make you feel ignored, abandoned, frightened, abused, or misunderstood then it’s easy to instantly place self in that fairytale love story. It makes you feel as if your safety and security are dependent upon another person. Such as the thought, “his love will save me”. So how do we overcome this? The task ahead of you is not an easy one to take. The answer is “spiritual relationship with “self”.

A spiritual relationship with self leads to ONE or WHOLE. You begin to create an environment that is healthy and fosters the belief that you can be on all levels in Being. “Being” in spirituality means; mind, body and soul in ONENESS. You have the power to transform your fairytale relationship beliefs into Self-Being in present moment. By bringing self into presence, you are able to capture the picture of past conscious illusions and where the fairytale source originated from. By dissecting piece by piece of this self-belief of yourself and eliminating the fantasy of Prince Charming coming to rescue you, you will help ‘You” to attract a spiritually based, consciously awakened, loving relationship; a relationship where you can feel safe, appreciated, and loved; a relationship created by equals for the purpose of spiritual growth and a relationship where you and your partner agree that nothing is more important than your spiritual growth in the present moment. This is conscious living.

~~ By Andrea Infante